A Letter To My 2 Year Old White Daughter About Black Lives Matter.

This letter that you are about to read is a private message that I wrote to my (almost) 2yr old daughter.  I did not intend to share it publicly, but something was calling me to do so, and so, here it is.  Read it. Ignore it. Share it. Learn from it. But please don't hate on it.  Eliminating racism has to start in the home.  People are not born racist. They are taught it, whether intentional or unintentional.  I want her generation to "get it," unlike my generation, and generations before.   

Written on June 8, 2020

Dear McKinley,

You're not quite 2 years old, but today, you went to your first protest.  When you look back at the history books, 2020 is going to be a chaotic year.  We (America) are living in a deep wound of pain that began hundreds of years ago when black lives were seen as "less than."  People (white people) are finally banding together with our black neighbors, family, and friends to say enough is enough.  We must stop the abuse and killing of blacks and end racism.

We can no longer turn away from the violence that has been happening. My goal is to teach you love, kindness, compassion, and justice for humans of all color. We are at a crux of the Black Lives Matter movement because people of privilege (us, whites) can finally see the hate and abuse that black people have been living with for so long.  We are opening our eyes to it and finally standing together with our black friends. 

Today we protested against racism. Against police brutality. But more importantly, we marched for love. For justice. 

Seeing all of the children show up to march makes me hopeful that your generation will "get it."  I want you to know that every human breathes and bleeds the same color. Every human deserves love, respect, and kindness, without any sort of color filter on it.

By taking you today, I want you to always know that you must stand up and show your support for what you believe in.  We went to the protest alone, just you and I, in a new city, where we have no friends or family. But we went because supporting BLM is just that important. There is strength in numbers, and by showing up, we showed support. 

Now, when you look at the photos, you may wonder why everyone is wearing masks, well, it's because we are also in the middle of a pandemic and people are afraid of getting sick (but that's for another letter), but let's just say that there is a lot of fear and divisiveness going on in 2020. 

I am re-learning to use my voice to stand up for what I believe in (I used to protest for causes near and dear to me all the time when I lived in Washington, DC), and I hope that taking you, today, instills a little inside you too.  We must love our neighbors, no matter their color. Find the good. Be the good. Never overlook what you can't see just because it isn't happening to you. 

Love,
Mom (aka Mama)

PS. I have so much more to say, so I'm adding to the letter.  I signed the letter, "Mama" because when George Floyd was being killed, he called for his mama. This makes my heart break into billions of pieces, and swell with anger.  I feel this so deeply after becoming your mama that if anything like this ever happened to you, I, as your mama, would never stop seeking justice. I hope that your history books teach these important lessons.  That the history books share the names and stories of lives lost to racism. I hope they mention the names of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery (who was killed because of hate while out on a run), and many more names that I am not listing here in this letter. We chanted these names  at the protest/march so that we may keep their spirits alive and remind us that hate still exists.

Here are some of the other things we chanted in unity at the march:

• "One love, one race"
• "Black Lives Matter"
• "Say his/her name"
• "I can't breathe" 
• "No justice, no peace, no racist police"

I am sure there are more, but that's what I remember. 

I grew up in a household that taught the evils of white supremacy.  I learned that organizations like the KKK were evil and to never be associated with such hate. As a young girl, I believed that organizations and hate like that no longer existed and that they were literally "history" because how could people possibly believe such evil still existed in our world?  Boy was I wrong, and blind to it for many years. 

About 8 or 9 years ago, in 2012, I visited your dad, who was in Air Force school in Montgomery Alabama.  We went to the Jefferson Davis museum/house (the former president of the confederate states), and that day was eye opening.  The history/stories that the museum docent told about the Civil War were totally different than the stories told in my history classes growing up in Connecticut (aka: "the north.")  I realized that day, that different parts of our country teach different things, and that was probably a contributing factor to a lot of the miscommunication/misinformation and hate that still exists today. 

I have had the opportunity to live in many diverse places in my life.  Connecticut, Washington, DC, Sacramento, and Columbus, Mississippi.  (Side note: Travel is going to be so important to open your eyes to different cultures. Please travel as much as you can as you grow up. SEE the world from new eyes everywhere you go).

When I moved to Mississippi in 2011 to be with your dad in the Air Force, I saw how "behind the times" it was, in terms of race and segregation. There would be festivals in town only attended by whites, and other festivals only attended by blacks. This bothered me so deeply and to my core. But I didn't do anything about it.  What could I do? It's why I never truly felt at home living there for the 4 years we did. There are some deep wounds there, as there are everywhere. I just had never really "seen" it in my previous eyes.  I saw it, but didn't feel like I could make a difference, so I "ignored it."

The BLM is a movement that is helping people, like me, wake up and have a platform to help and actually make a difference.  There truly is power in numbers to stand up for what's right, not turn a blind eye anymore. 

The racism must end. The hate must end. The police brutality must end. We must love one another and create a world that supports justice, hope, love, and togetherness. 

McKinley, I know your soul was put on this earth for creating so much love. You fill my heart with it, and you have the power to fill the world with it.  

Again, Love,
Mama

P.P.S. The next morning, after the march, you woke up and first thing, you said "Black Lives Matter."  "March again."  This made me so happy, and so hopeful.

The next day, she asked if she could continue carrying around her sign.