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I tried, but I can't be superwoman.

be well Nov 17, 2021

It's been a while since I've written a blog just saying hi and giving a little update on life. So, I'm here today to just say hi and reconnect with you to tell you why I tried to be "superwoman," do it all, and why I had to give that reality up. 

As many of you know, if you follow Trainer In Your Back Pocket on Facebook, in mid-July, I gave birth to my son, Everett via a pretty traumatic birth.  I was in the less than 1% of births that experience a uterine rupture while attempting for a natural birth after a previous c-section.  Not fun. But here I am now, 4 months later, with a super chill dude who just wants to be held all the time. (And this time around, I have no problem with that!)

Two months after giving birth, I started getting my energy back, and started getting the hang of life with 2 littles. At the same time, I began gearing up to launch 42 Days to Fit & Feeling Good. I was also beginning my 1000 hours of supervised clinical nutrition practice for the Certified Nutrition Specialist board exam that I plan to take in 2022. Oh, and why not throw 6 credits of biochemistry courses, also starting in October! I was optimistic that I could make it all happen. I mean, I'm a pro at this "work from home, mom life, thing."  bwahahaha.  

As someone told me: when it comes to kids, 1 + 1 = a million! And wow, no truer words have been spoken! At the beginning of October I started having anxiety up the wazoo. I was sure I needed to drop the biochemistry course. I doubted whether I should even host the Trainer In Your Back Pocket's 42 Days to Fit & Feeling Good course at all. I was so overwhelmed, I pondered throwing in the towel completely. The smallest set backs seemed like huge impassable mountains. I cried on the daily over anything and everything.

Was it the postpartum depression talking? Was it the anxiety? Was it unhappiness of where I live, or what I'm doing? Was it the questioning of my career path? Was it the questioning of being a mother? Gosh, it was a little bit of all of it! Overwhelm was an understatement! 

What I learned, however, was that I just had to break it down into ONE task at a time, and that I had to let go of the expectation that I needed to be perfect in it all. (Ironically, that is a HUGE theme of the 42 Days to Fit & Feeling Good course, so I had to take my own advice over and over as we went through the 6 week journey together).   All I could do was my best. 

So, I let go of trying to send out weekly emails to my email list. I let go of "striving for an A" in biochemistry (honestly, I just have to pass).  I let go of feeling like I had to schedule live workouts at times that were damn near impossible to make happen with 2 young kids in the house.  I let go of trying to "grow" my business. I let go of a lot of things. I had to settle for survival. 

The sense of overwhelm is finally starting to dissipate as I release the things that are no longer serving me, or that don't make me "feel good." I trust that it's just making room for things that need to come to me, even if it "inconveniences" someone else's expectation of me.  So, that's where I'm at.  I'm still here. I'm still the Trainer In Your Back Pocket. I am still showing up as my best self inside the TBP membership. And I am turning the overwhelm into trusting of the unknown that is to come. 

If you're in the same boat, feeling the overwhelm, just know that you're not alone. I tend to retreat into myself at the times I need support the most, so sharing this with you all is kind of like a therapy session to me, for me! I try to never let it show that I'm struggling, which goes against all the things I teach! 

With the letting go of things, I've had some pretty awesome, feel-good, ideas come my way. For one, I know that not everyone was able to join 42 Days to Fit & Feeling Good when we did it as a group in October/November this year, so I decided to make it a program that you can do anytime as a self-guided journey! I also daydreamed up TWO incredible Empowered Escape Well-Weekend Retreats for 2022 (stay tuned for those details!)  I opened the doors (in the universe) to what is meant to come my way via my functional nutrition training.  And for the first time, in over 4 months, I am starting to feel optimistic, less anxious, and on the right path to getting back to my kick-ass, feel good, mentality! 

So, go ahead and check out what I've got coming at you for Black Friday Deals this year! I always enjoy a good Black Friday deal, so I put my good vibes and positive energy behind it this year! I created THREE deals to choose from this year! Check them out and let me know if you have any questions about what's best for you! (Hint: you can get 42 Days to Fit & Feeling Good absolutely free in two of the deals!  So, don't miss out! That course helped a lot of people this past month, and it can help you too!)

Reach out if you need anything! I'll do my best to help you get back to your kick-ass self right along with me! There is power in numbers and we've got this, together!

Sending you lots of love, strength, and deep breaths!

-Abby

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